


Outsider POV

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [65]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Drabble, Fangirls, Humor, M/M, Metafiction, Multi, POV Outsider, Weechesters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 12:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezekiel is having some trouble adjusting to life inside Sam's head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outsider POV

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 9x01.
> 
> Also, Tahmoh Penikett (Ezekiel) played a character named ‘Helo’ on BSG, in case you haven’t watched it.

**Ezekiel:**  Dean?

 **Dean:**  Sam?

 **Ezekiel:**  No, it’s me again.

 **Dean:**  Ah, Hot Angel Dude. You know, I have trouble remembering your name, so I’m gonna call you ‘Helo’.

 **Helo:**  Why would you—?

 **Dean:**  You wanted to say something?

 **Helo:**  Yes. I have some concerns about Sam’s viability as a vessel. I think he may have been tainted by Lucifer’s—

 **Dean:**  AIN’T NOTHIN WRONG WITH MY BROTHER!

 **Helo:**  Alright. But the thing is, his subconscious has a lot of disturbing…

 **Dean:**  Yeah, well, we’ve been through a lot. What do you expect?

 **Helo:**  For his voices of reason to be more reasonable than a dead guy who keeps saying ‘balls’ and a version of you that keeps punching him in the face?

 **Dean:**  D’aw!

 **Helo:**  NO! NOT D’AW! It is profoundly disturbing in here, and I am not sure how much longer I can take it.

 **Dean:**  Geez. Can’t you just go to a happy place? Avoid the pockets of bitchy angst?

 **Helo:**  No, I can’t. Because outside of the angst, Lucifer’s taint remains.

 **Dean:**  Really? God damn it. I thought we’d dealt with that. What kind of stuff are we talking?

 **Helo:**  Almost all of his interactions have taken on a creepy homoerotic subtext, and—

 **Dean:**  Oh! No! That’s just how his brain works. And hey! Way to be a bigoted homophobic doucheba—

 **Helo:**  I have no problem with homosexuality. That is not what is creepy. It is the nature of the subtext. Literally every interaction he has had with a male is accompanied by…

 **Dean:**  …Even Dad? The kinky little bugger. Usually daddycest is reserved for me…

 **Helo:**  …Accompanied by otherworldly voices in his head. High pitched. Multitudinous. While the version of you in his subconscious punches him in the face, a million shrill voices cry, ‘Make out! Make out!’ like some sort of ritualistic chant. I am sure it is a Satanic—

 **Dean:**  Oh, I got you. Yeah, that can be kinda disturbing at first, but it’s not Satan. It’s just the fangirls. Though, from what I gather, they might take the comparison as a compliment.

 **Helo:**  Fangirls?

 **Dean:**  Yeah. Don’t worry about ‘em. I’m sure if you stick around as a guest star, they’ll start screaming at you to make out with people too. Why don’t you just go back to Sam’s childhood memories? There, the voices mostly say things like ‘D’aw!’ And ‘OMG, that casting!’

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope!


End file.
